最近,手机上刷到了一条新闻,这条新闻让人心里感到心碎。有一个年轻的小伙,他用尽了自己的所有,去买下了一套用作婚房的房子。然而,在一场意外当中,他得知自己的女友已经另外拥有了新的恋人。并且,这两人在他所购买的房子里面进行约会。最终,这位小伙精神崩溃,选择了跳楼自杀。
我们忍不住追问:难道爱情注定是一场布满伤疤的冒险吗?
真的其实并不是这样的,真正的爱情能够不使人感到悲伤难过,重点在于,你是以怎样的方式去看待爱情,选择哪一个人进行相爱,并且运用什么样的模式去经营这份爱情。
套路化的爱情为何总是伤悲
不少人将爱情视为一场“技术活”,跟风网上情感博主学“狐狸精三段式狩猎法”,凭借眼神话术去掌控对方,致使亲密关系沦为相互猜忌的宫斗闹剧,有人采用话术模板遭恋人评说“如AI”般冷漠。
前阵子新京报还曝光了“绿茶速成班”,课程已销售给15万人。
你看,当爱情被解构成话术和博弈时,伤悲就变成了必然结局。
从来真正让我们受到伤害的并非爱本身,而是那一些将感情当作交易筹码的扭曲心态。
真诚相待才能走出伤悲循环
你可否察觉到,那些令人心生羡慕之情的感情,常常都存有一个共通之处,那便是彼此能够将防备予以放下,以真诚之心相待。
我尤为喜爱近来天津大学开展的“人生困惑快问快答”活动,大学生们写下成长过程中的迷茫,以及焦虑情绪,小学生们以童真的方式予以回答,大学生们被“难过了就哭,哭完了就继续,你很好,加油”这句话说得内心防线崩塌了。
这就是真诚的力量。
于感情之中同样如此,与其绞尽脑汁谋划着得失,不如似孩童那般凭借直觉以及善意去关爱对方,省去一些套路,增添几分坦然。
接纳自我才能遇见不伤悲的爱
很多人之所以在爱里反复受伤,是因为从一开始就弄丢了自己。
我们常常去翻阅攻略寻觅参考答案,依照“成功学”模板去讨好他人,然而却愈发比较而变得焦虑,越发找寻而陷入迷失。
难道不可以暂且停顿下来,去思索一番,你所需求的究竟是他人嘴中念叨的“理想伴侣”,亦或是在实际上能够真正深入理解你,并对你怀有尊重之情的那个人吗?
今年,社会之上,越发流行一个词汇,名为“活人感”,其指的乃是,敢于去展露真实自我,不再受“精心修饰的朋友圈”所裹挟的一种状态。
在你学会接纳自身存在的并非完美之处时,在你不再凭借他人所给出的评价去界定自身价值的状况下,自然而然地,在对于感情这一范畴之中,你就不会再出现那种时而担忧失去时而又害怕难以得到的情绪状态了。
说到底,有没有一种爱不伤悲?
答案是肯定的。
那种爱,建立于真诚以及尊重之上,它不会致使你在算计领域消耗掉所有,也不会致使你在讨好范畴里迷失去向。
你经历过最伤悲的一段感情,后来是怎么走出来的?
倘若你经历过爱情,欢迎于此评论区分享你那独特的故事,勿要漏落点赞收藏这一关键举动,如此这般方可使得更多之人目睹那并非充斥悲戚哀伤的爱情模样。


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