我存在一位友人,前些日子才刚刚经历了分手这事。两个人在当初彼此结识之际,犹如天雷勾动了地火那般,交流得那是相当投机,朋友圈里发布合照的频率赶超微商去发广告。恋爱过程开展得也是极为热烈,有玫瑰花,有惊喜的礼物,甚至半夜还得打语音电话,甜蜜滋味浓郁得能把人给酸倒牙。然而共同居住不到半年时间,就吵闹得不可开交根本收拾不住。她说他总是随意乱丢袜子,他讲她的护肤品摆满了洗手台。她感觉他玩游戏耗费的时间过于漫长,他认定她刷剧时一会儿哭一会儿笑的动静太吵人。最终导致分手的缘由,听起来都令人觉得好笑——仅仅是因为一管没有盖好盖子的牙膏。

朋友喝着奶茶,呈现出一脸郁闷的神情,说道:“为何起初的时候,无论怎样看都觉得十分顺眼,然而现如今,仿佛就连呼吸这种行为都是错误的呢?”。
这不正是感情里头最为经典的那种困境呀?相识这件事是比较容易达成的,相爱这一情况同样不存在太大难度,然而最为困难的究竟是什么呢?其实是相处这个阶段。
当今当下这个时代,要想认得一个人实在是不容易达到的简单。一场聚会,一回活动,就连软件上面的一次向右滑动,便能够使得两位素不相识的人产生交汇。交谈上几日,找寻到共同感兴趣的话题,分享几首自己喜爱的歌曲,互相倾诉各自生活里的不如意,好感就这样自然而然地产生了。认识的门槛降低到了何种程度呢?一次偶然的机会,一丝仅有的勇气,一个“发送”的按键,故事就此开启了。
其实相爱并非那般艰难呀。当多巴胺 ,还有苯乙胺 ,以及去甲肾上腺素 ,在身体内部举办派对之际 ,瞅向对方的一切皆是美妙的。他讲话直接 ,你会觉着那是真诚 ;她略微有些作 ,你会觉着那是可爱 ;他打呼噜 ,你听着犹如交响乐 ;她素面朝天 ,你会觉着恰似清水出芙蓉呀。爱起始之时 ,仿若一场高烧 ,炽热 、迷幻 ,令人甘愿去相信所有的海誓山盟。
然而,高烧终究是会退去的。生活原本是极为精心策划的约会,而后却演变成了一日三餐这般平常之事;话题先是围绕着诗和远方,可后来变成了谁去倒掉垃圾、谁去缴纳水电费;曾经被忽视的那些“小问题”,如今开始如同鞋里的沙子一般,磨得人的人生疼痛不已——相处,其实就是一个将滤镜一层一层摘除的过程。
我曾见过那种夫妻关系相处得相当不错的一对夫妻。阿姨她讲,其中的秘诀仅仅就三个字而已——“不较真”。叔叔有随意放置东西的习惯,阿姨对其进行了两次提示,到了第三次的时候她就亲自上手动手去收拾整理了。叔叔心里明白阿姨爱唠叨,所以每次都是以几声“嗯嗯啊啊”来回应着,那些能够改正的就偷偷地改正,而那些没办法改正的,就厚着脸皮聆听着。
在一起相处,是在清清楚楚看清对方全部模样之后,仍旧心甘情愿选择去拥抱。是明明心里清楚他存在着那么多的小毛病,可还是乐意在清晨时分给他挤好牙膏。是将原先的“我”与“你”,缓缓地逐渐变成“我们”。要是你正身处一段关系之中而感到身心疲惫,觉得“相处实在太难”,先别急着去下结论。或许你们仅仅是从“相爱”那般梦幻的阶段,迈入了“相处”这个真实的考场。这场考试并没有所谓的标准答案,然而那些用心去答题的人,终究总是能寻觅到属于自身的解题办法。









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