// 兹心说 //
女人五十,当随心而活。
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小区花园里的石凳之上,有几个年龄超过五十岁的阿姨,她们正聊得十分热烈,气氛高涨。不知怎的,话题转到了“五十岁之后是否还需要男人”这个具有敏感性的问题上面。四个人,有着四种完全不一样的答案,然而她们各自都活得异常精彩,呈现出各自独特的状态。
半辈子以来,杨阿姨一直跟老伴吵闹不休,年轻时他们异地分隔长达十几年,好不容易团聚后,又因些琐碎小事没完没了地争吵,“离婚”这俩字无数次差点就从嘴里冒出来。然而现在,他俩摇身一变成了最有默契的旅伴。她讲年轻时不理解“少年夫妻老来伴”这话,如今才清楚,相伴到最后的并非子女,而是睡在枕边的那个人。虽说偶尔依旧会有争执,不过皆是笑一笑便罢了,日子过得有滋有味,比如去带带孙子,天南地北四处游玩。
给出相反答案的是刘阿姨,她42岁时离婚,独自将女儿抚养长大,到如今已经独居13年了,女儿女婿多次邀请她同住,她都予以拒绝,邻居劝她找个老伴,她却反问重组家庭牵涉双方子女,真的能够比当下过得好吗,她每日跳广场舞、跟姐妹们结伴旅行,日子过得极为充实,还说生活除去男人之外,尚有诸多有趣的事情。
李阿姨五十岁之际,老伴因患癌症而离世,而后面临退休阶段便开始独自生活。儿女们屡屡劝说她再寻觅一个伴侣,然而她只是无奈地摇头,说道:“都到了这般年纪,实在是不想再去折腾了。倘若找得人不合适,反倒会给儿女们增添麻烦。”她并不缺少物质方面的保障,且身边围绕着为数众多的朋友,每日都处于极为忙碌且欢乐的状态之中,不亦乐乎。
令人最为感慨的是王阿姨,她在离婚之后带着孩子重新组建了家庭,然而现任老公与她各自花销自己的钱,家庭支出是平均分摊的,感情一直隔着一层纱,她苦笑着说,从外表看上去是个完整的家庭,可是有没有作用,只有自己心里明白,她甚至于做好了再次离婚的准备。
四个女人给出了全然不同的答案,杨阿姨告知我们,要是有能够知冷知热的老伴相伴,那当然是人生之中的幸运之事,刘阿姨以及李阿姨证实了,处在单身状态同样能够将日子经营得如诗一般美妙,然而王阿姨的经历却敲响了警钟,那便是为了所谓的“完整”而去凑合的婚姻,或许仅仅是让人添堵。
实际上,五十岁之后是否需要男性,压根不存在标准的答案。关键在于活出那种“无龄感”,即不对自身进行限制,不因年纪便毅然决然地舍弃对美好的追寻。有人相伴的确相当温暖,独自绽放异彩同样有着莫大的价值。不管身边究竟有没有那个人,将生活营造成为自己所钟爱的模样,这才是后半辈子最为高级的生活方式。




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