以“狮子男是不是都这么霸道?”“摩羯男真的不懂疼人吗?”这等表述来开启,当去翻开小红书或者微博之时,如此这般的吐槽类型帖子往往能够收获得到高涨超赞。好像是每隔一段时期,就会有一个星座被拉扯出来进行“审判”,还会被粘贴上“不疼女人”这样的标签。然而实实在在讲,将感情之中的矛盾单纯归纳成为星座,更近似于一场规模宏大的情绪肆意发泄。与其说是星座的相关问题,倒不如讲,我们每一个人都曾经在某一段特定关系里面,遭遇撞上了“大男子主义”这一堵难以逾越的墙。
这一堵墙,并非仅仅归属于摩羯、狮子、天蝎以及白羊,它或许会凭借各异的面容呈现出来,然而所戳中的却是同一处痛点,那便是当“为你好”转变成为“你必须听从我的”,当“养家糊口”化为漠视情感的托词之时,关系之中的温度便随之降低了下来。
有着“大男子主义”的摩羯男,其“大男子主义”藏于沉默的担当之中,他们或许早早便规划好了未来的房子以及车子,认为给予你安稳的物质生活便是全部的爱意,可当伴侣需要一句关切的“今天累不累”时,得到的却是像是单纯日程确认般的“明天几点出门”,他们将“养家”当作首要责任,然而却忘却了情感方面的陪伴与回应,而这才是能够让伴侣真切感受到“被爱”的关键所在。
然而,狮子男的那种强势,是更加向外显露的。他们在爱情当中,带有一种所谓的“王者气概”,惯常为你去做出全部决定,无论是周末去哪个地方用餐,还是整个人生规划,都習慣由自己一手包揽。他们将“控制”错误地理解成“呵护”,把伴侣的顺从视作爱意的一种证明。可是,一旦你提出属于自己的想法,便极易引发一场“权威挑战赛”。就如同朋友所吐槽的那般:“跟狮子男谈恋爱,他老是把自己当成国王,把我当成臣民。”。
至若天蝎男,其爱浓烈,然亦最使人窒息。彼之“大男子主义”呈极强领地意识与掌控欲之态。早晚需报备,社交圈要筛查,美其名曰“给足安全感”,实则将亲密关系变作“申请出入证”之游戏。当“忠诚”被异化为“服从”,爱便失却自由呼吸之空间。
与之相较,白羊男所展现出的“直”呈现出简单粗暴之态,他们拥有热情,具备较强的行动力,然而却极度欠缺同理心,当你处于情绪低落之际,他们会即刻开启“解决问题”的模式,诸如“别再想了,去吃一顿火锅就可以了”之类的话语,却从未思考过,你所需求的或许仅仅是一个拥抱,一句“我明白你内心的难过”,这种急切追求成效的“安慰”,常常致使他人感觉自身的感受被完完全全地忽视了。
说到底,将感情之中的不愉快归责于星座,着实有点偷懒。大男子主义更像是一种有待被看见以及调整的相处模式,并非某个星座的原罪。现代的情感关系,早已不是单方面的“谁疼谁”,而是俩人间的理解与磨合啦。
好,关系是一场双人舞,可不是一人独舞。那些过时的“大男子主义”舞步,得更替。不管啥星座,要学会听懂对方需求,于独立跟照顾间寻得平衡,这才是感情长久的关键所在。但愿你碰到的那个人,不只是晓得给你买房买车,更在于懂得夜晚给你留一盏灯,陪你聊聊心里话。


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